Life Is All About Choices

Life throws tough decisions at you. Some lead to peaceful dreams, others… straight to the toilet. This sarcastic tee says it all with a bold, no-nonsense design featuring Ambien and Ex-Lax side by side. Because sometimes your choices really do turn your dreams into shit.

😴 Dream dealer
🚽 Bathroom sprinter
😂 Sarcastic wisdom
🌀 Existential crisis edition

Perfect for:
-Office philosophers and breakroom comedians
-People who appreciate dark humor more than life advice
-Anyone who’s made questionable late-night choices
-Gift for that one friend who “always has stories”


This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

Printed only when you order. No dusty shelves, no overstock, just freshly made with a dash of sarcasm and questionable life choices. It might take a little longer to arrive, but hey, art takes time. Thanks for being part of the resistance.

Size guide