Too Wild for the Pasture, Too Horny for the Herd.

This shirt doesn’t ask for permission, it kicks the barn door off the hinges and saunters in like it owns the damn place. With a distressed longhorn skull and bold outlaw energy, this is the kind of tee you wear when “settling down” sounds like a death sentence. It’s loud. It’s lewd. It’s absolutely not getting invited back to the church picnic.

🔥 Testosterone in cotton form
🐂 Zero fence lines, maximum swagger
🍆 Hangs low, rides proud

Perfect for:
– Ranchers with reputation problems
– The bad boy of the livestock auction
– First impressions you don’t want to fix

This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

Printed only when you order. No dusty shelves, no overstock, just freshly made with a dash of sarcasm and questionable life choices. It might take a little longer to arrive, but hey, art takes time. Thanks for being part of the resistance.

Size guide